tailored pants

christmas is done.

new years is upon us and i need to get some new underwear and something to wear to a dance party. if i can find what i want then i will be happy.

this is also going to involve underwear shopping which is what it is.

christmas was good but it’s always a little weird. it’s really the only time of year that i really feel like my parents are divorced. i always KNOW my parents are divorced but i don’t think i’ve quite gotten past the fact that i haven’t actually seen my dad on christmas eve or day for the past 4 years.

i remember the first christmas my parents split up my dad came over in the morning on christmas and we opened presents as a “family” and then the three of us (dad, sis and i) went to brunch at a hotel on calgary trail and it was depressing as fuck. we’ve never done that again. instead we fake christmas on boxing day. i’d like to maybe see my dad on either christmas eve or christmas day next year.

sorry to get all whiney about my “broken” home. it really isn’t bad at all i just notice it around this time of year…

***

i’ve also been really re-examining a lot of stuff and realised that i got kind of carriered away with certain aspects of my personality and now i’m struggling to find a new balance. i don’t want to abandon them entirely though because they are a part of me. i suppose that life is about finding balance though right? (duh…)

***

i am seriously jonesing HARDCORE to get a new tattoo. i NEED it. i’m not even lying or exaggerating. i like about getting tattooed pretty much all the time.

i am making these lists in my mind of everything i want to get done and then i start worrying about what will happen when it’s all done. will i feel done or will i want more. will i ever be able to stop. i know i don’t want to ever get my neck tattooed but will that change? i don’t want that to change.

anyways, here’s the list of modifications including tattoos and piercings.

- thigh scarification.

- ears stretched to 00

- right conch punched.

- smiley piercing just for fun and just for a little while…

- full back piece of an angel with wings spread across and up under my breasts

-chest piece. (something old school and super hardcore with a banner that says “people can only be found in what they do”)

- another sleeve (probably something revolving around day of the dead imagery)

-two full calf sleeves.

and this will all change 200 million times of course but i’m seriously aching to get tattooed. soon. i hope.

***

happy new year friends! thanks for being awesome-every single one of you has made 2006 one of the best years on record. thanks! thanks! thanks!

the list v. 2.06

a week or so ago:

“so i am starting this list sitting in cafe mosaics on a wonderful almost-christmas december afternoon. it’s 1:15pm and audrey will be late for lunch. this list is a task. a challenge of the highest order especially since i probably don’t have anything interesting to say about the whole “music” thing.  it’s all been said before and said better than i will… BUT i love these records-all of them- for their history’s and for what they have meant to me over this past year (or this past month in some cases). i’m no expert (despite claims i’ve made to the contrary) but i am a HUGE music fan and so i made this list. i couldn’t do then so there are 15.”

today: 

ok. so there are actually 15 and a footnote…

so, here’s the list :

footnote.

Cursive- Happy Hollow (Saddle Creek)

This isn’t an amazing record. It’s good, really good but that’s not a surprise. Cursive is a really fucking good band. If Cursive releases an album it’s going to make my list in some capacity. The following 15 albums were better but Cursive is one of the best so no matter what it’s here…

Everyone, and by everyone i mean the six people that I talked to, were up in arms over the fact that tim kasher broke up the band, reformed and then fired the cellist in exchange for a brass section. Seriously though, the horns rule and add a new edge to cursive. They are complimentary to Tim Kasher’s frenetic yelping and crying. They strip cursive of some of their lushness making me think back to pre-domestica Cursive and all that screamo-type stuff they were doing. Whatever-I dig it. The end result of all this line-up change is a solid, literate and cohesive album from one of the best bands in the world. It’s just no Ugly Organ…

15.

Erase Errata-Nightlife (Kill Rock Stars)

I wasn’t going to put this album on here. Well, I was as a side note to the Gossip’s Standing in the Way of Control because in my mind they are inextricably linked. I can’t have one without the other. That idea didn’t really work out though because Standing in the Way of Control came out last year. Oh well, this is still a fucking great album. It’s soulful and dirty and loud and danceable and you won’t dare talk down to Erase Errata and call this “chick rock” because something in the music tells you that if you do you’re gonna get your ass kicked and you probably will.

14.

Chad Van Gaalen-Skelliconnection (Sub Pop)

Chad Van Gaalen has really really really nice teeth and he shows them off when he smiles after finishing a song. I like that about him. I also like that he draws these amazing animations to go along with his songs and does all him own album artwork. Oh yeah, and I like his music too. These songs are weird. Seriously weird; but at the same time they fill you with warmth and no matter what you feel overwhelmed by his honesty. This is genuinely beautiful music from one of Alberta’s best. Kudos to Sub Pop for continuing to recognize awesome talent.

13.

Justin Timberlake- FutureSex/LoveSounds (Jive)

Whatever. this album KILLS. Justin Timberlake a sex-god and he’ll make you dance and he’ll make you want to take off your underwear and he’ll make you love dirty sex-drenched pop music. Sure, you could argue that this record is cliched crap and maybe it is but JT brought sexy back in big way and you’re lying to yourself if you say you didn’t like at least one song from this album. Fuck, even pitchfork liked it!

The other thing i really like about Mr. Timberlake (aside from insanely sexy he is) is that he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. Ever see “dick in a box” on SNL? Yeah, that shit is awesome!

12.

Vitaminsforyou- The Legend of Bird’s Hill (intr_version records)

There’s a lot of talk that Byrce Kushnier’s amazing project sounds a lot like the Postal Service and maybe it does. I don’t know. But i also don’t care. This album is so full of beautiful, lush and moody melodies that you can’t help but be transported immediately to bird’s hill (wherever that is) and get completely lost in syncopation and heartfelt tales of love, loss, friendship and somehow what it means to be canadian. I feel included when I listen to this album and I really dig that. And here’s something: Byrce Kushnier is super hot and an amazing live performer as well. I’m about 70% sure that vitaminsforyou was the first show i saw at the victory lounge 2 or possibly three years ago.

 11.

Shout Out Out Out Out- Not Sayin’ Just Sayin’ (Nrmls Wlcm)

I really wanted to hate this record. I really wanted to be the one person in edmitten who hadn’t jumped on the shout out out out out bandwagon but how can I hate it? How can I not love this band? I can’t. Live, there are few bands (and no local bands) who have the ability to make you dance the way shout out do. They bring the party. The album is good; it gives you a hint, a taste, of what to expect from their live show but doesn’t give away all their secrets.

plus…there are some cute boys in this band…:D

10.

MSTRKRFT- The Looks (Last Gang)

This record is mostly silly and shallow. Team MSTRKRFT aren’t there to make you feel for them, to talk about love or death or to delve into deep discussions of the human condition and it’s relation to the post-modern aesthetic…and while I am sure that you could argue that IS what they’re doing (and maybe it is…)  mostly MSTRKRFT will make you think of fucking and dancing and these boys bring the PRTY! and unlike shout out out out out this album packs the punch recorded as well as live.

(grr…I hate formatting this shit)

9.

Fucked Up-Hidden World (Jade Tree)

This is fucking punk rock.: dirty, mean and LOUD but completely lacking in all the cheesy cliches one would expect. Three weeks ago I hadn’t heard of this band let alone let myself be blown away by it’s aggressiveness. I’m pretty sure Toronto is the centre of the music universe these days and if this is the kind of hardcore coming out of Toronto than I am fucking excited. I’m also kind of excited if this is the direction jade tree is taking because i haven’t always been a fan of what jade tree bands…EXCITING!

(yep! still hating formatting!)

8.

Tiga- Sexor [UK] (Turbo)

I think the thing that makes this album different from the other “dance” records on this list is that Tiga writes what i like to refer to as emo-dance music. Not emo in the “emo pizza cuts itself” kind of way; but emo in the “i write lyrics about things I actually care about and actually have some emotional depth”. Eli already said this in his little blurb about Tiga but i am going to reiterate because I completely agree: “(far from) home” is arguably one of the best singles of the year. The DFA remix is pretty killer too.

(SERIOUSLY! What’s the matter with this thing?!)

7.

Golden Dogs- Big Eye Little Eye (True North Canada)

Up until about a month ago I’d never heard of the Golden Dogs. I saw their name on a poster and noticed that they were opening for the Meligrove Band but never really put it all together. What is all of it you might ask? Well, the golden dogs are quite possibly one the best bands in Canada and if I didn’t have a year of loving electro quite so much they would have ranked much higher on the list. This is just good fucking music. I imagine them being the nicest people in the world and possibly really enjoying grasshopper and a joint. fuck Metric, the golden dogs are set to take over the world. Emily Haines can kiss her reign as the coked-out queen of canadian rock good bye

6.

TV on the Radio- Return to Cookie Mountain (4AD/Interscope)

Someone once asked me to describe TV on the Radio and I called them “punk rock barbershop” and I totally stand by this. Regardless of how you or I choose to define this band’s sound they’re onto something completely different and deserve every ounce of praise they’ve been getting over the past couple of years. Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes was pretty amazing but Return to Cookie Mountain is absolutely a force to be reckoned with. (how many times have i used that phrase today….) Looking back and editing I realise this is the first!

5.

Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan- Ballad of the Broken Seas (V2) 

and

Isobel Campbell- Milk White Sheets (V2)

yes, both of them together.

I think I heard 2 min of an Isobel Campbell song about a week ago on a sushi outting. I was pretty much in love. yesterday I picked up both of these albums and they blew my mind. The Ballad of the Broken Seas is a duet of songs of love and loss and while Mark Lanegan has his moments where he sounds like the love child of Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen you will be moved. I lay in bed last night listening to this record on my head phones and I closed my eyes and I was transported to a dingy desert motel room where two people are sweating and fighting and falling in and out of love.

Milk White Sheets is an equally beautiful album sprawling country and folk standards mixed with original tracks and all deliviered with stunning vocals. I have to thank james for introducing me to this because holy shit-there’s a beauty to these songs rarely present anymore; a sort of innocent love for music accompanied by a skill unmatched by many and it’s so goddamn refreshing.

I’m not going to lie. i felt like kind of a tool walking into the store and buying BOTH these albums at the same time but I deflected well and pretended they were a gift. ha ha.

 4.

Destroyer- Destroyer’s Rubies (Merge)

I’ve been a fan of Destroyer for a couple of years now and when this album came out i was really fucking stoked. I picked it up at this awesome little record store in New York’s east village and it quickly became my soundtrack to lost hours amidst the New York hustle and bustle (which is sort of funny considering it’s a Canadian album). Somehow it was completely perfect. Dan Bejar is an incredibly brilliant songwriter with a taste for the theatrical and an understanding that perfect composition doesn’t follow any standard pattern beyond the one you create for yourself. On a side note-I am much more a fan of each individual new pornographer’s side project than I am of the band as a whole…curious. anyways, Destroyer will destroy you-and you’ll fucking love it.

3.

Hot Chip- The Warning (DFA/Astralwerks)

HOLY CRAP! HOT CHIP WILL BREAK YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LEGS AND YOU’LL THANK THEM FOR IT!

Girl vocals. Boy vocals. Casios all over the goddamn place. You’ll be dancing. You’ll be laughing. AND you’ll be having the time of your life. I really can’t say enough good about this album so just listen to it. Seriously. it’s not what all you dance music detractors think it is; it’s clever and intellegent and dynamic. This is dance music for cynics.

2.

Converge- No Heroes (Epitaph)

Three weeks ago I hadn’t heard this album and I didn’t want to. A local band called the Red Hot Daggers reminded me that i like spazzy hard(metal?)-core and so i decided to listen to the Blood Brothers a bit more. Following a blog post about the Blood Brothers and a new found LOVE for the aformentioned spazzy hardcore No Heroes was touted by a friend as the hardcore album of the year. This is 100% absolutely true. Converge have quickly become a favourite of mine and this album has been the soundtrack to my life since I bought it. It’s aggressive and intense yet there is nothing superfluous. every little sound, shreik, yelp, cry or scream FEELS necessary which I think is what makes Converge better than every single other “screamo/hardcore/metalcore” band. They play like this because they have to not because it’s cool. plus, jacob bannon is hot…

1.

M. Ward- Post-War (Merge)

At this point I am basically out of adjectives. This record is simply amazing. this is M. Ward at the top of his game and I am so excited to see what happens next.

I had the pleasure of getting to know M. Ward’s very personal brand of folk music in a live setting before I ever heard him recorded and I can assure you that the honesty and warmth that pours from every pore of his stunning music is evident in his live show. This is the real thing. M. Ward is the real deal and if you have yet to hear him please take the time, you won’t be disappointed. I promise.

oh, and Mr. Ward (Matt, i think…) is cute in that west coast sexy kind of way…

So that’s the list. It’s been edited and re-configured and turned around 200 times but I think i’m finally ok with it. Please feel free to completely disagree and argue with me ’til you’re blue in the face…it’ll be fun!

happy holidays!

xo xo michelle

the list.

it’s that time of year again and i am one of those people who makes a “list” of the best music of the year-or at least my humble uneducated opinion of the best music of the year…

…it’s coming. i have like…6 or 7/10. i think i can get it down to ten. some contentious spots are being debated and trying to choose between mstrkrft and converge is like choosing between vaginal and oral sex. both are totally awesome in their own right and when combined a force to be reckoned with…i’m just not sure which i want first, y’know?

so it’s coming. if you care than be patient and if you don’t then i suppose you just wasted 9 seconds reading this but maybe had a good laugh at my little oral/vaginal sex comparison*.  i almost used anal/vaginal but sometimes i just don’t want anal at all…

michelle…

*i use vaginal sex as the reference not because male/female penetrative sex is the only option but because my usual preference leads to that. 

hidden tracks/secret songs

sometimes secret songs are better kept as secrets

sometimes it’s better not to know.

i’m honestly not trying to be vague. i’m realising lately, especially in rehearsal, that there is joy in not knowing and that people are often at their most honest when they simply do not know.

we can’t know everything but we feel that we must and in our quest to know everything we forget that in not knowing we’ve already got everything we need…

or something.

lately it’s all become glaringly obvious that we can’t know what other people are thinking, what’s meant to happen, what’s meant to be, what someone will mean (or not mean) to us. all the best stuff is unknown and that’s fucking awesome.

i look at it like this: say someone (usually this kid) tells me about some band i’ve never heard of, not knowing what they’re going to sound like and how i’m going to feel about their sound or who i am going to compare it to is the best part of the day. sure, sometimes the music will kick your ass but the anticipation gets me every time.

i guess i’m the girl who loves those three seconds before a first kiss even more than the kiss itself. sure, the kiss is great but the not knowing is what makes it exciting. no?

i think this all comes out of a serious excitement over the project i’m working on right now. every day is an adventure in the unknown. after the summer, after clown, i went straight into gayface so i had all these tricks so fresh in my mind. time has passed and every day i am surprised by what i pull from my bag, surprised by what these new faces bring to the rehearsal hall, suprised by how often i say “i don’t know…” and how ok everyone is with that.

we’re all on this path together and the best part of it all is those 3 seconds before discovery because…god, who knows what it will be and what it will mean.

i seriously just don’t know.

91.45%

i’m in a mood. everything is frustrating. everyone is frustrating.

and yeah, that 91.45% is looming…

some random thoughts for a chilly evening.

1. my mind is seven hundred places at once. i’m analyzing too much, thinking too much.

i’m seriously happy with the way things are and i hate being forced to question that.

2. black forest cake is sick shit.

3. apple or pear martinis are the 2 most delicious ways to forget but gin is quicker and a better excuse.

4.  i want what i want and i done with judgements.

5. a hangover will keep me sober and embarassed enough not to let pear martinis win.

6. nip/tuck is pretty much the greatest show ever made.

7. i like kissing. a lot. i want more kisses.

8. it’s not really evening anymore but it’s still chilly.

9. my kitty gary is the cutest kitty in the universe.

what am i doing?

my friends, something strange is in the air.

tomorrow i will be heading to the edmonton strathcona polling station to join the conservative party of alberta to cast a vote in the leadership election.

i know what you’re thinking because i’m thinking it too.

“but michelle, you’re a ndp gal and even flirted with anarchism a little…” and i am an ndp gal and me and anarchism still flirt all the time but here’s the deal friends:

part of me is a realist. yikes!

i live in alberta and i imagine i will continue to do so for a number of years. for however many years i live here the leader of this province will be a member of the conservative party of alberta. i need to help get the best man for the job elected leader.

now, here’s the deal. i’m not going to vote conservative in an actual election i can’t stomach the idea of ted morton being the new leader of alberta until that time. whoever wins this race will be the new premier and will most likely win the next provincial election. the provincial liberals are broke and offer little resistence and the ndp just doesn’t have the numbers.

so tomorrow morning i am casting a vote against the evangelical zealot who promises us u.s. style privatized health care, no funding for the arts and legalized bigotry. i can’t support that man being in charge of our province for even an hour much less years.

come actual election time i’ll cast my vote for the ndp party knowing that the lesser of two evils is probably going to be elected and perhaps i won’t have to pay for health care and that people i care about can still marry the people they love. oh, and maybe i can still get some funding for a play. that’d be nice too.

wow. me, a member of the conservative party. thank god it isn’t even a yearly membership or else i may start talking about fiscal responsibilty.

michelle.

 p.s. i stepped on an earring last night and pierced my foot. it still hurts. stupid gin.