kicking TT in the face.

it’s impossibly impossible to have an orgasm with the sounds children and bored housewives baby talking in the alley… i know i could have stopped and closed the window but by then it was too late. the glow of two hot girls fucking was long worn off by the effects of sex we don’t see in porn.

so yeah, i’m back in the suburbs loving the plumbing but not the background noise so much. it’s free though and my wireless connetion is strong.

i almost got in an accident today. i started crying flashing back to two weeks ago and the feeling of my car losing ground under me knowing that i could be killed…that we could have all been killed. i wish i didn’t need to drive.

“i’m the mommy and you’re my kid” says the background noise.

thought or action appears impossibly impossible right now.

the car accident. nearly three weeks old and still so fore fronted in my mind.

“i’m getting angry”

“this hurts my tummy”

the flipping over and the blood are so close. so real. i saw my little sisters blood all over the car and the spot where she hoisted herself up-a perfect bloody handprint. the movies get it right. i wish i didn’t know that.

“i am getting really angry”

i don’t have any bruises but i feel it.

this too shall pass i suppose.

save for this minor blip (ha!) i wasn’t lying when i said this was the greatest summer on record. save for this minor blip…

blip.

“i’m the MOM!”

blip

“my tummy…”

blip.

peace…

shame is a dish best served blue

if you knew, you’d know.

i’m kicking my self lately…pictures keep reminding me and i feel embarassed. not regretful because regret is useless and you can’t take it back anyways but blue-faced with embarassement.

YOU ARE TOOOOOO OLD TO LOOK LIKE THAT. I MEAN IT.

kick in the throat.

i haven’t blogged for a while. maybe i’m like elton john and wish there was no internet. ha! not a chance.

life has been nutz. the post vacation crunch always hits me where it hurts and fringe rehearsals came out of nowhere. there’s also my show…

it’s all wonderful so i really shouldn’t complain, should i? i suppose you should complain, cuz you miss me.

mostly my mind is full of a friend who has been going through a really bad time. i think we hurt each other too much and use love as the excuse to do it even more. eli said it already but please, be good to each other and check in with your friends; make sure they are well and safe and don’t spread nasty shit around…there’s enough of that already.

and to you, friend, i’m thinking of you all the time.