a startlingly obvious epiphany

i had an epiphany tonight.

aside from the fact that i remembered that i love the word epiphany. and that i find it hard to spell. and that i put an extra e in remember all the damn time…

so my epiphany… tonight i went to a reasonably big event in the theatre community in this fair town of mine and part of me was dreading it. a lot. not because i knew the work wasn’t going to be awesome but because i knew a huge part of my evening would be spent schmoozing. something i feel like i am quite shit at. but then something happened…at some point i jolted myself back into reality and realised that i was having a pretty wonderful time.

the thing is…schmoozing isn’t the bullshit-fackey-i-can’t-think-of-anything-better-to-say-then-that-i-liked-the-lighting-on-your-crap-show-so-now-whatthefuck-do-we-talk-about…instead it’s just hanging out with like-minded people talking about drugs and vegas and taking the five hole.

sure, sometimes you have bullshit about a crappy show you hated but why on earth should we spend our time being fake assholes when we should be supporting each other?? got me, friends, got me.

anyways, the point is that i realised that it’s ok to be who i am, in all my awkward bad at schmoozing glory and not schmooze at all but just have genuine conversation with people you genuinely like and who’s work you really enjoy. and really mean it when you tell them you were glad you saw them…

the more and more i get schooled in what it really means to be IN the industry of making art and not just sitting out in the ether having romantic ideas about what making art is the more i realise, and remember, that all this stuff that we spend our entire lives dreaming of doing is about other people and our relationships with those people. art is a people based industry…like i said, startlingly obvious. and it’s not that i didn’t know this… i’ve just been thinking a LOT lately about what comes next and next and next and while i am really ok with not knowing the fact that i know small things like, “don’t be a fake asshole”, “mean what you say”, “work and exist with integrity” etc… will be there to help. </p.

like i said friends, a startlingly obvious epiphany…people are cool, don’t be a jerk, you have something to offer.

hilarious.</p?