i would very much like to kiss chuck klosterman

last night i had a moment. somewhere in the haze of gin making sexy times with my empty stomach and the weed putting my brain into ________ mode i had a genuine moment. 

this was the moment: you’re sitting talking to someone. a cute someone. and that someone is saying something either a) cute or b) interesting or both cute and interesting and you’re just sitting listening and you become hypnotized by their lips moving. or not hypnotized so much as turned on and this huge part of you realises that you want to say, “sorry, just to interrupt for a second but um…i’d very much like to kiss you” and whether you kiss them or not you said what you felt. it was one of those moments. i didn’t say that phrase but i did really want to. i wonder if he would’ve kissed me? 

i’d very much like to kiss chuck klosterman. wouldn’t it be so hilarious if compulsively googled himself (and it seems like he’s someone who might) and google led him here and he read this ages old blog and found me somehow witty and interesting and kissable too and then somehow soon after that we would kiss. maybe we’d also have lunch. no, not lunch. obviously not lunch. we’d obviously get brunch. maybe in the middle of all the kissing we’d have brunch and talk about how are past loves have ruined our ability to just simply let pop music be. and we’d laugh, and get stoned and talk about how gross coke is and then kiss some more. 

i think somewhere in there i’d have to tell him how much i love diet coke. just to be stupid. and that would be my flaw: “michelle was really perfect, like pretty perfect, but she’d always make really stupid comments in the middle of really intense conversations.” and then i’d be in a book and i would be written about in ways that made me want to kiss chuck klosterman in the first place.